I was talking to my friend, Colin, the other day and he mentioned that he was at a brunch with some neighbors – and husband and wife I also know. They got to talking about he and his partner, Roberto, being “out” as gay in their small Costa Rican beach community of Puerto Viejo. It clearly upset this couple on one level, even though they claim to be okay with they gay thing themselves.

Colin mentioned that he was too old and had already done enough healing on his own gay "issues” and that he just didn’t have the energy or desire to hide who he really is to others around him. It was his personal truth that was important to him.

At that comment, the wife responded, “Just because you’re okay with being gay doesn’t mean that the others around you are. Aren’t you worried about not respecting the other person’s truth and upsetting them?”

Needless to say, my friend was quite upset about this. I think mostly because he was happy to have found these “normal” neighbors in a Caribbean world with many troubled folk. He had made the assumption that because he and these neighbors agreed on so many points that they would agree on all points – or at least those which felt near-and-dear to Colin’s heart.

What ran across my mind when Colin told me about this story was how other people’s “truth” bothered me at times. Let’s say I run into a person with no legs. That’s pretty much their truth and not much can be done about it. But it has at times made me uncomfortable and upset me. Should that person be held to hide their truth? Stay home maybe where he or she won’t upset anyone?

I have run into way too many people – and clients – in my life with huge self-worth problems because they were afraid of their own truth. This has usually stemmed from comments other people have made, leading them to turn inward and judge themselves as not being “normal,” beautiful and ultimately worthy.

Perhaps it would be best if we could be more compassionate with ourselves – and others. After all, why do we assume that the truth of others has anything at all to do with us?